With the holiday season coming up in full swing, it is time to count your blessings. Although, if nobody else around you knows what you went through with your divorce, it may be harder than you ever imagined.
DIVORCING AND WOMEN BEING GRATEFUL
With everything you have just gone through with your divorce, this year's focus on you and the children be harder than ever. You are expected to count your blessings and be grateful for what you still have. Trying to show that everything is fine takes a toll on the body, but you can always try to see how long it takes. Or you can take the other path and try to acknowledge that it will be tough. Acknowledge and then decide your actions from there. The first step to feeling less overwhelmed with the holiday season starting and you being recently divorced is to take control. Acknowledging that you have control over your feelings and nobody else’s is a start. Even your children may be sending their overwhelmed feelings your way this season.
MAKING DIVORCE AND MAKING BEING THANKFUL EASIER
It will be hard to be thankful for all of the things you still have this season, but starting with acknowledging how you feel and know you have control of you is a start. Take the mindful approach for just a moment. Take a deep breath in, now out. Smile and know you will get through this first tough year. Your kids will survive, and you will bond closer than ever. If you have never stopped long enough to journal your feelings, start there and see what happens after just 3 minutes of writing. Buy the nicest blank journal you can; such as a Moleskine. These small changes will make you more relaxed and a little more grateful that you are still here breathing in life.
FINANCES AND BEING GRATEFUL
This exercise is similar to the above discussion. Little changes that you can control will make you calmer, happier, and more grateful for the everyday things in life. Changes to be more grateful includes making sure you know what to do with your finances during the holiday season. It also means spending your money on what is important to you. The first season post-divorce is going to be hard. Setting the intention to help others is one way to focus on spending time with the kids and feeling better about your situation. What do I mean by this? Make a date with the kids to help out at a local food bank or at your church. Do something this holiday season for someone else. This can be a financial contribution, as long as it is going to make you feel amazing after writing the check. This holiday season should be about bonding, giving yourself grace, doing things that bring you calmness and joy. This holiday season is not about spending as much as you can on others and not feeling anything afterward. That vicious cycle should only last so long. Breathe in and breathe out!
Written by Olivia Summerhill, CFP®, CDFA® of Summerhill Wealth Management. She is a Divorce Financial Planner helping high net worth women maintain their lifestyle and build wealth during and post divorce.
Schedule a conversation with her and see what she can do for you by clicking here.