I hope to have the author, Dr. Stephen Hayes, of the book 'Get out of Your Mind and into your Life' on my podcast 'Divorce for Wealthy Women' to talk about his book. I recently did the work in this book for my own personal growth and highly recommend this acceptance and commitment therapy book for any women thinking of divorce or anyone going through a divorce.
Why am I bringing it up, and why do I want him to talk about his book on my podcast? When you're going through a divorce, it is easy to make the same mistakes you did before your divorce. This workbook can be done side-by-side with your therapist and helps you understand your emotions and avoid mistakes.
It's really all about creating your own cognitive diffusion techniques and making sure that you are willing to do the work and really giving you practical skills to combat while you're suffering and in a divorce. I can't think of much that we could go through in life that's more emotional than divorce. Instead of holding your emotions and or thinking it through and using substances to help you get through the divorce, these techniques throughout the book really create a better way of clearing out your mind. It enables you to be OK with complex, heavy emotions and makes you willing to work on yourself and understand why you're suffering. And it helps you know how to get on with your life post-divorce.
Because our minds are always going to be thinking, it is highly unlikely that you can just let go of all negative emotions, especially in divorce. And it's not like you're never going to feel pain, anxiety or depression, or any feeling in the future! Even if you are in a divorce and you're reading this, and you just think, oh, I don't have any unfavorable emotions. Yes, you do. Yes, you do, I do, and so does everyone else. In divorce, emotions are even more amplified! That is why I think this is imperative that people actually read it as it goes into coping strategies and really why you can benefit from evaluating your emotions and thoughts and sensations in different ways.
I used to say at the end of the night, 'oh, you know, I've worked hard. I've enjoyed the day. I'm gonna have a glass of wine, and I'm gonna stop thinking now and shut off in and just reward myself.' Come to find out, I actually stopped drinking the elegant, expensive red wine at night because that was not the best coping mechanism for me. I did not need to use wine to shut off; instead, I replaced this with healthier habits and strategies with the help of this book.
There are definitely a lot of destructive or unhealthy coping mechanisms I see in those getting a divorce, which is why this book, with the help of a therapist, benefits many who do the work. In divorce, there are emotions, and post-divorce, you're still going to have these emotions you need to work through. This book will help you in any way you want it to, so I really look forward to hearing from you if you read it. Share what worked!
Let's assume that the doctor will be on my podcast, and you'll be able to hear from him what he thinks about how to emotionally cope with divorce. I hope you ponder this topic and are honest with yourself and where you are at in your divorce journey. You know what you're doing to work on your emotions and recognize if you are shutting them off or using substances to help you through the divorce. You can instead use resources, such as Dr. Covey's workbook. The complexities and the emotions of divorce can't just be turned off! Let me know how I can help you on this divorce journey.